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No Accountant Was Harmed In The Making Of This Movie

No Accountant Was Harmed In The Making Of This Movie

19/07/2020

For which we apologize unreservedly.

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Committee Set Up To Establish Which Part Of Ireland Kanye West’s Ancestors Come From. Just In Case, Like?
Stephen Collins Accuses Newton Emerson Of Being ‘Soft On Sinn Féin’
Amber Heard Found Guilty Of Witchcraft
Man Arrested For Calling 999 To Report Theft of Air Guitar
Coronavirus “God’s Punishment” For Letting Gay Couple On DWTS
Irish Times Amazed By Irishman Living Abroad
Man Longs For Day When He Can Resent Intrusion Into Private Life That Fame Brings
Man Waiting Anxiously To See If He Qualifies For Level 8 Tripadvisor Badge
Senator Noone To Raise Awareness That “You Can’t Say Anything”
What To Do If You Feel Raped After Following A Woman Onto The Upper Deck Of A Bus To Watch Her Breastfeed
Granny’s Disappearance Will Make Great Episode Of ‘Who Do You Think You Are?’ Care Home Advises
Man Who Sees Dead People Everywhere Reminded He Works In A Morgue
Where’s Wally Publishers To Produce A Where’s Boris Edition
Man Unsure If Bruce Lee Can Continue To Defeat Larger And Larger Groups Of Opponents
New Brexit Deodorant Removes The Stench Of Racism
How To Cope With The Lingering Sense Of Bereavement That Follows A ‘Son Of Satan Christmas Shit’
“Is This A Hill You Want To Die On?” Priest Asks 5-Year-Old Playing Centurion In Nativity Play
Man Planning Selfless Act Surprised By How Much Self He Actually Has
I Like To Think Of Us As One Big, Happy Family, Says CEO Who’s About To Fire Everyone.
Black Lives Matter Ennis Threaten To Make Town ‘Ungovernable’ If America Does Not Change
Parish History Omits Time Fr Mike Blew The Bingo Fund At The Galway Races
Buy A ‘Vagina Candle,’ Woman Tells Ex, Because That’s As Near As You’ll Get
“Balcony Bingo? Sure It Writes Itself!” Cackles Roddy Doyle
Meat Loaf Told ‘Bat Out Of Hell’ Not Appropriate As Charity Single For Covid Research
‘Michael Jackson Did It All The Time,’ No Excuse For Rubbing Your Balls In Public, Judge Tells Castlebar Man
Fair City Extra Recalls Time Gaybo Completely Ignored Him In A Lift
Coronavirus “God’s Punishment” For Letting Gay Couple On DWTS
Without The Alcohol That Prevented Him Realizing All His Ambitions, Man Discovers He No Longer Has Any Ambitions
Ritual Of Bridesmaid Claiming She’s Breaking With Tradition By Making A Speech, Already Underway
Man Who Didn’t Suffer Fools Gladly, Was ‘Just Another Dick’
Millionth Woman Seeking Validation Asks Mumsnet ‘Am I Being Unreasonable?’
New Marine Can’t Wait To Torch A Village For America
Man Praying His Wife Won’t Start Speaking ‘On Behalf Of All Women’
What To Do When A Himalayan Salt Lamp Doesn’t Cure Your Depression
Thames Valley Police Deny They Mistook Prince Harry For An Irish Traveller
Dog Tries To Hump Woman More Than Husband Does
Win A Magical Weekend For Two At The Red Cow Inn
European Research Group Admits It’s Never Done Any European Research
Postman Still Calling It The Gurmet Tart Co
Man Thinking Of Buying Expensive Notebook In Case It Ever Turns Out He’s A Writer
Fruit Sellers Demand End To High Speed Car Chases
Endless Glamour Of Airline Travel Finally Getting To Ryanair Cabin Crew
Mother Keeps Asking To See ‘Pearl Necklace’ Daughter Got For Valentine’s Day
Anything Man Knows About Women He Learned The Hard Way
Man Thinking Of Giving Up Alcohol For November Soon
Couple Planning Family Newsletter From Dog’s Point Of View
Man Breaks Long Silence To Reveal He’s Totally Off His Tits
Wedding Planner Referring To Guests As ‘Civilians’
Scientists Prove That If A Tree Falls In Trinity, It Makes Noise At Cabinet Table
Kid Who Had To Wait A Year For A Wheelchair, Would Probably Have Grown Out Of It By Now Anyway
Keith Richards Never Had To Throw A Flat Screen TV Out Of His Hotel Window
Woman Singing ‘Private Dancer’ Confident She’d Make An Excellent Prostitute
We Built This City On Rock’n’roll Defence Ruled Inadmissible In Court
Man Singing In Shower Pretty Sure He’s Multitasking
Woman Just Putting That Ballymaloe Sauce On Everything Now
Actress Whose Mother Is Her Best Friend, Tells All
Halfway Through Famine Report, Newsreader Expresses Alarm Over Dry Skin
Fucking Your Kids Up, Still No 1 Parenting Mistake
Man Whose Wife Is His Best Friend, “Definitely Having An Affair”
Lying, Racist, Morally Bankrupt MP, Surprise Favourite To Lead Tories
Shooting Fish In A Barrel Takes America By Storm
Man Singing In Shower Pretty Sure He’s Multitasking
Attendant Can’t Wait For Gallery To Close, To Begin Licking Exhibits
Lifelong Marxist Struggling To Cope With Mainstream Approval
Family ‘Thrilled’ Daughter Has Lost Her Irish Accent
Lying, Racist, Morally Bankrupt MP, Surprise Favourite To Lead Tories
Man’s Penis Feeling More Like A Swinger Than A Soulmate Tonight
Taxi Driver Unsure Exactly Which Mansion Asylum Seeker Lives In
HSE Reports Spike In Panic Attacks, Following €65m Cannabis Seizure
NASA Engineer Admits Programming Mars Explorer To Carve His Initials Into Rock
Bored Teen Looking For Twitter Lynch Mob To Join
Study Finds Most Americans Killed By ‘Acts Of God,’ Live In Bible Belt States
Kevin The Carrot Breaks His Silence
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There Are No Losers Here Today, Winner Tells Losers
Papal Anus Getting Millions Of Hits
Man Feared For His Life When UFO Lights Dragged His Car Towards Dogging Spot
Man Just Following His Pecker Around
Wife Cancelled Date Night Even Though Husband Had Already Brushed Teeth
Dog Dragging Its Balls Along Carpet ‘Understands Every Word Woman Says’
Wife Says All Husband Does Is ‘Make Carbon Dioxide’
Asian Couple Name Son “CEO Amir Patel” To Give Him ‘Headstart In Business’
Eamon ‘I, Robot’ Ryan
‘Calm Down Love,’ Journalist Told After Asking ‘Hello, Is That The Garda Press Office?’
Incredible New Anti-Snoring Device Takes Ireland By Storm
Man Singing “Leave A Light On For Me” To Warn Wife He’ll Be Legless When He Gets In
Turns Out Mass Death Is Worse For Economy Than Mass Unemployment
Mayor’s Job “One Step Up From Being Town’s Most Colourful Drunk”
New Doctor First Black Man To See Woman’s Tits
Indian Waiter Faints After Customer Orders Dessert
Man Relieved He Has ‘Boner Fider’ Boner
Her Majesty Will Be Offended If I Don’t Get A Window Seat, Donaldson Tells Stewardess
Vaccinated Woman Claims Zombies Just Run Past Her Now
The Ballad Of Brave Sir Jeffrey
People Too Smart To Believe The BBC, Too Stupid To Find It
Support For A Border Poll To Be Made A Hate Crime
Johnny Skunk And Mary Gargle’s Romance ‘Is Growing All The Time’
True Value Of The Sun Was Always Zero
‘I blame The Parents,’ Says Alcoholic Woken By Crying Baby
Re-enactment Society Just Cover For Bondage Club

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