Commerce Secretary Wilbur Louis Ross Jr. has rebuked The New York Times for claiming he was ‘out of touch with how ordinary Americans live’.
In a statement released this evening, the billionaire asset-stripper also denied for the first time that his cronies privately refer to him as ‘Monty Burns’.
A spokesman confirmed Secretary Ross does own a pair of embroidered slippers but they are worth $1,200.
“So maybe the so-called New York Times needs to check its facts,” he sneered, “before it rushes into print?”
He added that the slippers were a gift from ‘his highness the crown prince of Saudi Arabia, Mohammed bin Salman bin Abdulaziz Al Saud’.
The department has revealed that Mr Ross is normally carried between meetings in a sedan chair that has been in his family for generations.
“The chair is carried by immigrant children,” a press release said, “who would otherwise be ineligible to live in this great country of ours”.