US Commerce Secretary Wilbur Louis Ross Jr. has rebuked The New York Times for claiming during the shutdown that he was ‘out of touch with how ordinary Americans live’.
In a statement released this evening, the billionaire asset stripper also denied for the first time that his cronies privately refer to him as ‘Monty Burns’.
A spokesman confirmed Secretary Ross does own a pair of embroidered slippers but that ‘in fact, each slipper is worth $600’.
He added that the slippers were a gift from ‘his highness the crown prince of Saudi Arabia, Mohammed bin Salman bin Abdulaziz Al Saud’.
The department has revealed that Mr Ross is normally carried between meetings in a sedan chair that has been in his family for generations.
The chair is ‘carried by immigrant children,’ a press conference was told, ‘who would otherwise be ineligible to live in America’.