Coveney Rock-Hard After Meeting Minor Royal

Coveney Rock-Hard After Meeting Minor Royal

Tanaiste Simon Coveney has acknowledged he’s still suffering from ‘a very painful erection’, having shaken hands with a minor royal yesterday.

“Not that Nicholas Medforth-Mills is a minor,” he hastily explained.

Coveney said it was “a very great honour, indeed yes, to meet Nicholas – I think I can call him that, I know I can, now that I’ve met him – who is 94th in line to the throne”.

However the deputy Fine Gael leader, seen hobbling around Leinster House earlier, stressed he’d been desperately fighting to keep his mind off royalty since, “for entirely understandable reasons?”

Afterwards, speaking on condition of anonymity, close confidant Senator Tim Lombard said the presence of the new Garda commissioner Drew Harris, made the meeting even more “special and exhilarating!”

Harris previously served as Deputy Chief Constable of the Police Service of Northern Ireland from 2014 to 2018.

Lombard said “poor Simon hardly knew which way to look, under the circumstances”.

“It was almost like meeting 007 and the Queen on the same day, ” he panted.