The Irish Times has finally issued a formal retraction of its 2007 inclusion of Michael Bublé on the paper’s ever popular “What’s Hot‘ list.
A shame faced, marketing intern was forced to read a statement to reporters, declaring that “On this occasion, ‘the paper of record’ got it wrong”.
The tearful DCU student continued, “Furthermore, we acknowledge there is no such thing as ‘the cruise ship blues,’ or at least, not in the sense that we used it”.
“That’s not for me to say,” he replied, looking at his shoes, when asked if it was ‘a Bublé booboo’.
“I really couldn’t say,” he implored, when asked if it was ‘a Bublé boohoo’.
“Please,” he whispered, when asked if the paper had left him to clean up its Bublé doodoo.
“It’s not fair,” he called after cackling journalists, as they left the briefing in The Buswell Hotel, “I wasn’t even alive then?”
Unconfirmed reports later placed him in the bar, repeatedly whispering into a pint of ‘black and tan, “Please don’t print my picture, please don’t print my picture”.