Man Carried Same Unused Poop Bag On Every Dog Walk Since 2012

Man Carried Same Unused Poop Bag On Every Dog Walk Since 2012

Neighbours of Trump ‘apologist’ Stephen Ryke (58), confirm he has carried the same poop bag every evening while walking Snowflake but in seven years, has never once used it.

The ‘eco’ bag was a gift, they allege, which he uses as ‘urban camouflage’ to deflect attention from curious eyes.

“If you carry a poop bag, especially an ‘eco‘ poop bag, everybody assumes you use it, right?” neighbour Emma Tyrell said, “It’s genius”.

Ryke was careful, she added, not to let Snowflake shit on a local ‘doorstep’.

Asked how she could possibly know this, Tyrell said “He told me…he’s actually proud of it!”

While never overly popular, Emma says Ryke’s social standing really plummeted once he began boasting that his grandfather came from Bavaria, “just like President Trump’s”.

At time of going to press, she said she wouldn’t be at all surprised if ‘the Turd Ryke,’ as he’s now known, was anonymously ‘outed’ on social media.

Ryke had no comment to make on his nickname, other than to say “Be sure to tell the peasants the correct pronunciation of ‘Reich’ is ‘Ryesh,’ won’t you.”