Colossal Earthquake Obviously God’s Punishment For Some Minor Rule Breach

Followers of the one true God agreed today that the enormous death toll caused by Monday’s twin earthquakes in the middle east, was probably provoked by some pretty minor rule breach but remain divided over precisely which one.

“When you think about it,” one said, “HE obviously felt HE had to come down hard because HE was being completely ignored? It’s not HIS fault and HE’s probably really sorry now that HE lost HIS patience, probably over some tiny thing. Sort of a ‘last straw that broke the camel’s back’ kind of thing. And HE just, you know…snapped? So I think we should all just cut HIM some slack, yeah? Because knowing HIM like I do, I wouldn’t be at all surprised if HE gives us a really good summer this year, as compensation.”

Meanwhile, followers of all the false gods were busy blaming the devastating death toll on pagans, Satanists and Jews. But not necessarily in that order?