In a remarkable development yesterday Germany refused to extradite an Albanian man to the UK because “Britain sadly, is now officially one of the shithole countries”.
“Basically,” a judge said, “I wouldn’t keep my ex-wife’s dog in the conditions this man would have to endure and I hate that hairy little rat even more than I hate her.”
The judge said Germany had twice sought reassurances about the conditions the man would be kept in but had received no answer.
Speaking off the record, a British prisons inspector said “Prison is violent and so riddled with drugs that crime inside prison has become a problem in itself”.
A No 10 spokesman said “Even if we wanted to – and believe me, we don’t – we couldn’t do anything about prison conditions because the Tory press would tear us to shreds if we did”.
“Anyway,” he mused, “one less Albanian? The PM won’t lose any sleep over that, so it’s a win-win scenario for everyone!”