“Phwaat I’m thrrryin’ ta tell tha minishthur if ohnee he’d lishen,” Kerry TD Michael Healy-Rae said last night, “is that he will be reemimburred for preesiding ovur the dissthrucshin of roourtle Ireland, if he keeps on goin’ the way he’s goin!”
The Bord Failte-sponsored, Christy Mahon-impersonator, was speaking at the launch of the ‘No Drink Left Behind’ scheme, in the lobby of Buswell’s Hotel.
“This ssshhceeem will thrrrow a badly needed lifeline to the sshmal faarmurr,” his brother Danny Healy-Rae TD said, “which is very badly needed…for ta imprrroove…tha threadful sityooashin he’s in.”
In follow up questions, both brothers reacted angrily to a Sunday Times journalist who accused them of being members of the Abbey Theatre Players group, on loan from a touring production of The Playboy of the Western World.
The launch was abandoned after she played a recording of two men speaking perfectly comprehensible English, in a light Kerry accent.
The conversation revolved around their chances of appearing on the reality TV show, Love Island.
The piece was headlined, ‘Brothers forced to deny ‘pig-in-the-parlour’ pronunciation, is an electoral gimmick’.
The paper said it was a taste of what it was like to be, “At home with the Screaming Healy-Raes, shorn of their usual thigh-slapping, verbal gymnastics”.