After Mia Delaney’s eighth glass of Baileys Irish Cream Liqueur (17% alc/vol), she was carried upstairs by her husband Matt, still insisting that if only one person could learn from her experience, it would be reward enough.
Sat up in bed, stubbornly clutching a half-full wine glass of what they both called ‘Mummy’s special milk’, she vigorously repeated her claim but struggled to recall the details of this important ‘life lesson’.
“One single person?” she stressed, holding up a finger to signify how many people it would take to make her happy.
“Does the person have to be single?” Matt replied, in the full knowledge that anything he said would be ignored anyway.
“And I wouldn’t ask for more,” she added in a noble tone of voice.
“You’re doing your Gandhi face again,” he said, “and you only do that when you’re completely pissed”.
But she didn’t answer because her eyes had already closed.
As her husband gently removed the glass from her hand, she mumbled, “Dead money” and began a gentle snore.