Kevin The Carrot Breaks His Silence

Kevin The Carrot Breaks His Silence

The popular root vegetable moved to quell speculation with a statement that hinted at artistic tensions behind the scenes, while also confirming he is ‘gutted’ by the decision to ban him, on the basis of a single, anonymous complaint.

An ASA spokesman said ‘We understand that Kevin is immensely popular with the influential 5 to 8-year-old demographic, however his association with the sale of alcohol was inappropriate’.

Kevin’s agent said he’d been forced to continue performing as the supermarket’s ‘alcohol mascot,’ despite having outgrown the role he’d originally been hired to fill.

Privately, creatives claimed success had gone to Kevin’s head and that he had become aggressive and demanding, frequently warning that the under 8 market would go ‘apeshit’ if he were to walk.

“Topped and tailed baby”, one of his former colleagues sniggered, “topped and tailed!”