Local Man Would Really Like To Punch HR Guy’s Lights Out

Local Man Would Really Like To Punch HR Guy’s Lights Out

Ramble Inn regular Leonard Hardiman last night again offered to let everyone in on ‘a little secret’ – namely that he’d really like to punch the HR guy’s lights out.

Although apparently closed, the pub was providing a lockdown service to a handful of its most loyal customers, with the aid of blackout curtains.

“Something you say every week, can’t possibly be considered a secret”, ‘early drinker’ Thomas Joseph Guiney said, without looking up from his crossword.

Hardiman, pictured second from the left (above), was momentarily taken aback but continued anyway. 

“You know what that pervert spends his time doing?” he asked rhetorically.

Torturing us with ‘team building exercises’,” he said raising his voice to a near shout.

The noise made owner & proprietor Eamon Halligan, who was leaning on the bar and doing the crossword with Guiney, frown.

Hardiman briefly held up a hand by way of apology, before resuming his party piece.

“Last appraisal I got from him, he said I was ‘rigid & repetitive, driven by routine, unable to innovate’?”

“Produced, as fruit,” Halligan read out, “4 letters.”

“He’s saying,” Nugent continued, “that I’m a bloody machine!”

“It’s a compliment really,” Guiney said, briefly looking at Nugent.

“How’s that?”  

“It means you can never be replaced by a robot?”

Hardiman’s mouth fell open, as Halligan slowly straightened up and smiled.

“Bore!” he said, triumphantly.