The government has announced emergency funding of €5,000 to bring dial-up internet access to County Mayo, via a series of phonebooths in town squares.
Taoiseach Micheal Martin said no money would be spared to bring the booths to the five town squares, where the population was in excess of 2,500 in the 2016 census.
The five ‘IT hubs’ in Castlebar, Ballina, Westport, Claremorris & Ballinrobe would ‘kickstart’ the online sector, he said, in the most offline part of the country.
“This funding will be ‘ringfenced’,” he added, “to ensure this incredible opportunity for Mayo to make contact with the rest of the country, is not lost.”
And, he said, the benefits will be enormous, as it will be possible for anyone to use the phonebox to download a song in just ten minutes or a movie, in under three hours.
The Screaming Healy-Raes immediately objected to “spishal ixpinditchoor for wan countaay whin it should be made available forr all”.
However they apologized sincerely and sat down again quietly, when reminded the smallest of Kerry’s many extra government subsidies – its annual Limbo dancing allocation – is eight times greater than Mayo’s ‘once off’ IT allocation.