Parish History Omits Time Fr Mike Blew The Bingo Fund At The Galway Races

Parish History Omits Time Fr Mike Blew The Bingo Fund At The Galway Races

Over coffee, parish secretary Mary Duddy yesterday conceded her long-awaited ‘Brief History Of The Parish‘ was “not a comprehensive record” of events.

The pro-life daily communicant then winked theatrically at choir leader Emily Pidgeon.

Pidgeon understood this to mean that no reference was made to the time Fr Mike lit out for The Galway Races with the Bingo fund under one arm and 23-year-old Vietnamese cleaner Dang Thu Thao under the other.

Ms Thao was an amateur fortune teller who convinced him “big money luck” awaited him at Ballybrit.

Father Mike, who was later described by a psychiatrist as ‘an emotional adolescent when it comes to dealing with women,’ went on a week-long bender after losing everything on the first race.

The popular PP and acclaimed crooner was located eight days later, singing for drinking money, down by the docks.

He panicked halfway through ‘I Got Friends In Low Places‘, when he spotted the intervention squad approaching but in his haste ran into a passing cyclist.

In what was considered a major coup for the diocese, he was “habbed and harnessed again” in time to lead the annual pilgrimage to Lourdes, just six weeks later.

“Jammy dodger?” Pidgeon inquired archly, as she held out a saucer of biscuits.