Mass goers in Ballyconnell, Co Cavan last Sunday, were stunned after their parish priest tried to introduce morality into a sermon.
Fr Oliver O’Reilly condemned the “abduction and torture” of a local businessman and challenged anyone with information on the matter, to come forward.
“People round here love a good old fashioned sermon,” said one man who left early in disgust, “’tis a great escape from everyday life.”
“Stories about five hundred lads sharing a loaf is great fun like,” he added, “or Jesus beating the lard outta the fellas he owed money to? But them fancy, Dublin-style sermons don’t go down too well!”
“What he done in there was wrong,” a local woman who didn’t want to be named whispered, as she repeatedly blessed herself.
“God’s house is no place for talk about legal niceties. Didn’t Jesus himself die on the cross to keep that sort a thing out of his home!”
“God save our lord”, she screamed, as she got into her car, “and let the pair a them lead us not into temptation or the holy ghost will abandon us, now and at the hour of our deaths amen”.