As Lisa Crowley waited to get into the lift with her boss, Ulster Bank Head of Compliance Bob Darien, he asked her if she needed anything from him for the month end. Compliance Officer Crowley who would normally have walked the five flights to the top floor, absentmindedly replied, “Nothing”.
“In my experience,” Darien smirked, as he looked around at the other three suits in his team, “whenever you ask a woman what she wants and she says ‘nothing,’ it means she’s thinking long and hard about how to make you suffer!”
Digging deep, Crowley managed such a deep, rich snort of laughter at this ‘beige man’ joke, her three male colleagues’ autopilot chuckles, were cut short.
Debriefing close friend Emma Spain after work, Crowley sighed heavily before describing her boss as “the kind of tool who’s deeply addicted to the worst management-speak”.
Urged to supply an example, she didn’t hesitate. “This morning he told me he’d be in a meeting with his boss for most of Friday?” In reply to Spain’s questioning expression, she offered, “What he actually said was ‘I won’t be around Friday because I’ll be ‘managing upwards‘ all day”.
“Jesus Lisa,” Emma said squeezing Crowley’s hand, “I’m so, so sorry?”
“I suppose it could be worse,” Crowley mused, “I could be in repossessions…”