As she was handed her nine o’clock cuppa last night, Irene Collins paused The Crown, pointed at the screen and said, “In future, I want it served just like that?”
Trade union organiser Dan ‘Trotsky’ Collins, glanced at the frozen screen showing two footmen in red frock coats, pouring tea for the Queen and Jackie Kennedy.
“You want a flunkey?” a puzzled Trotsky inquired.
“Can’t you wear your new suit?” Irene sniffed, as she pointed imperiously at the door and waited until he’d left before pressing play.
Trotsky afterwards said The Crown was beginning to have a deleterious effect on Irene.
“She’s spending hours online,” he said, “researching obscure points of etiquette”.
When pressed for details, he replied, “She asked me recently if I knew that a lady can wear a hat indoors until 6pm?”
“I wanted to take her temperature when I heard that,” he recalled, “but she wouldn’t let me…”
Trotsky was vague about the precise details of why his wife insists he leaves the room when The Crown is on.
But when pressed, revealed it was because he couldn’t stop pointing out how much better the servants’ working conditions would have been, if they’d belonged to a trade union.